hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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