His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
