Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
