Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I wish my penis had an off switch
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
