i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
