New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I am available for nakedness
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
