you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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