All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
