Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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