and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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