Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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