it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
