How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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