don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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