I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Randomize
