i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
