Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
