The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
