Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
