some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
