I met the friendliest cop last night
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
