Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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