It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
