I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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