i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
