how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm sobbing to NWA
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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