Im at strip club and am horny
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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