Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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