I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
