"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The uberlube is also flammable
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
