i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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