you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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