I'm drive I can fine osifer
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
