Princesses don't give blow jobs
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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