I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
