You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
