do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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