my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
