she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize