Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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