Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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