So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
