My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
