this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
