youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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