I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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