Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
