What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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