Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
How external is "for external use only"?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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