i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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