Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
