I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
two words: eviction party
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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