Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize